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Hi. I'm not sure how old the baby is, but I'll share my experiences. My FS (who was placed with me at 10 days and never left the hospital before his placement) was 6 months old when he started weekly (sporadic, as they missed visits often) with his biodad, then biomom when she was not incarcerated. I can give you some advice, some things I wished I had done which would have made the visits easier for him: please ask the biomom if you can start the visit together (I'm hoping you will be taking the baby to the visits), then when the baby is a bit more comfortable with biomom, you could sneak from the room. If you do this during the 1st few visits, it will be less traumatic for the baby- she won't be visiting someone who is a stranger to her. Maybe you could talk to the caseworker about this. Also, send a favorite blanket or toy with the baby. This may be comforting to her. I snuggled my baby ALOT after his visits, to try and offset and trauma he may have felt (he had a REALLY hard time- this baby was not a big crier, and he screamed during the visits with tears streaming down his face...his was so hard to listen to him cry so hard!). If you could manipulate it so the baby needs a bottle during the visits, having biomom give the bottle can also help develop a bond between them.
I wish you luck and hope the baby does okay with the visits. Having been through this, I would like to help make your (baby's) visits easier than my (baby's) visits, so feel free to pm me if you have any questions!
Oh- a huge positive in me bringing the baby to his visits. The bioparents and I developed a relationship, and this played a big part in them signing an identified surrender to me. They could see how much I loved this baby and how bonded we were.
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