Dear Sommer,
Hi. I'm Janey. I'm not sure we've spoken before though I think we may have. I am old and forget things easily these days! LOL! I had been watching this thread and meaning to post to you. Unfortunately the Christmas monster took over the universe and claimed it as its own!
LOL!!
Anyway, I wanted to tell you how sorry I am for what you're going through. In the short time I've been in this forum, I've gotten to know adoptees going through the same heartbreak as you. IMO it is a terrible thing to treat people this way and I don't understand it.
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She isn't the only one hurting in this situation. She isn't the only one who has lost sleep, who has wondered, who has cried herself to sleep at night. This isn't just about her, it's about me too!
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You are 100% correct. You have been hurt as well and are more than deserving of compassion from your birthmother; some words of comfort and understanding. I am sorry she is not reaching out to you.
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I doubt my birthday will be any different. Just another huge let down for me. And it's only because I let it be a let down.
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Nah. (((( Sommer )))) Please don't do that too yourself. Don't put blame on your shoulders for being human. You know there is a quote of Gilda Radner's; a rather famous one.
Leave me my dreams. Dreams are like paper, they tear so easily
So very true! Dreams....dreams die hard. Most especially the important dreams borne of the desire to be known and to be loved. Who doesn't want such things? We are all of us looking to be counted in this life.
You are not in the wrong here, sweetie.
This quote of Liz's here:
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When the heart is involved- wishing and hoping is difficult to control............and resulting pain and hurt when the hopes are not met seems to be never-ending. I wish there was something we could do about it.
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Wise words spoken by a very wise woman who's paid the high toll to walk on the path. What she says is so true....Wishes and hopes cannot be squelched simply because the brain wants it to be so. The road from the mind to the heart is the longest one to traverse and it takes a lifetime to learn to balance the two; to learn to live at peace with oneself.
Go easy on yourself Sommer. You have every right to your feelings.
Keep posting. There are good people here.