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I am trying, this is just so darn hard. My son is not speaking to me, so all my information is thru his wife, who, thank god, is keeping in touch with me. I have now found out that his aparents are telling him to just forget about me, that he has known them for 28 years and me for only a year. They are telling my daughter in law not to tell him she is speaking to me, of course she tells him anyway. They told her that he is just trying to forget about me. My daughter in law said she feels like he is just trying to make his amom happy by saying those things, she told me he talks to her about me and she knows he misses me. Of course all this crap does not help his recovery. Which by the way, his amom has completely derailed by buying him a bottle of wine for christmas-this from a woman who doesn't even drink! She said he was begging her for it (duh-of course he was-he's an alcoholic!) and she doesn't want him to be mad at her. So she would rather he kill himself (he overdosed in October and was in the hospital for 9 days with liver and kidney failure) than be mad at her. I just knew this would happen if he went back ther. Nobody in that family stands up to him and he knows he can use his anger to get whatever he wants from his afamily because they are all afraid of him. Oh another wonderful nugget that his amom keeps on saying is that I gave him up 28 years ago so I just need to realize that I can't have him back whenever I feel like it. I gave him up, she tells my daughter in law, so that does not make me his mom. Uh, hello, he looks just like me, I carried him in my belly for 9 months, I gave birth to him. She tells my son that obviously I did not love him enough to keep him-what the f does she think this is? A friggin contest or something? Well, she is winning because know I now he will not speak to me as long as he is living with his aparents. This woman has been so nice to my face and then says ridiculous things like this behind my back! And I do know that my son wants me to prove her right, that I will turn my back on him. So even though I kind of want to back off for my own sanity, I don't want to because I know I will lose him forever if I don't at least stay in touch in some manner-email/text/voice mail. I am hanging in there because I know I will get the call when he really needs me, and I need to be there for him.
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