[lucyjoy]

Honestly, I taught my son to say "yes maam and yes sir" when confronted by adults about situations. Seems silly but sayting that gave him just enough time for his brain to think. For kids I taught hi to say "excuse me" even if the other kid bumped him. All he needed was a 30 second time stop. He was excited the first time he tried it and it worked.

My sons are in the military so I haven't had to deal with telling them a parent is deploying. I think RAD kids are so hypervigelent that they are constantly hearing everything that goes on. Because of this, for something as big as dad leaving, I'd be honest. I'd also focus on how strong mom is and that mom can handle both mom and dad's job while dad is away. A rad kids biggest fear is a threat to his own survival. He'll need to be sure dad leaving doesn't effect that.

You also might try posting your question in the special needs section of this board. It gets a lot more traffic and lots of mom's/dad's of rad kids post there.