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Hello. I'm so sorry for your situation. They just don't get it. My Amom was also very cold about the whole thing. I was lied to that I was adopted and it was a huge slap in the face that an entire family be privy to the truth, that I the actual person if they had their way would never know. I strongly agree that all people should be entitled to the truth, I wish more biological mothers would have the curteousy to write something about themselves and their families, so that all adoptees would know something. IF there are any bio moms out there please don't take offense but I think there are 2 kinds of birthmoms, the one type that gave the child up out of love because they were too young or knew they couldn't properly care for the child, and the 2nd kind birthmom's that are selfish, broken people too stupid to use birth control and saw their pregnancies as a huge inconvenience. That's so not fair to you, but it sounds like your birthmom may be trying to pretend that you don't exist and if she is as cold as some of the woman I know, I would not expect her heart to ever soften on this. Some say we should thank them for not having abortions, but to me that'd be like thanking them for being horny, it just wouldn't make sense. No one should be brought into this world by the 2nd kind of birthmom. Woman should have respect for their bodies, and form some kind of bond when their babies are in the womb, to take on some responsibility or accountability to the life they created, even if they themselves do not raise that child. Some of them it may really be that to them it is too painful, but get over it the child is the victim not them. (I am not referring to birthmom's that had children as a product of rape since that is an entirely different situation.)
I pray that you are able to find closure to this, even if it doesn't come in the way you'd like. My birth family stuff is complicated but I was able to find peace with it. You are a sensitive and caring person and deserve so much more than your AM, BA, and birthmom could ever give you. Take care.
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