LOVEAJAX - you are soo right...SO right.
JANEY - thanks for the support, as always
And I really don't want to make a big issue out of all of this...don't want to be the one whose always saying "Hey! That's not fair!" Because I know ALL of us have felt this way at one time or another, and I don't want to make it a "side war", especially since this is an Adoptee thread, and the feelings posted on here are valid. I know what they are talking about, this nonsensical feeling of "you should be grateful"...I've seen it happen before...I've HEARD it stated before about my OWN kids and I always put the person in place who says it...But it also hurts to have the infertility thing lobbed back at you because that affects ALL people with infertility - not just those who expect people to feel gratitude..
But to use your sandbox analogy (which I loved, by the way), If there are 4 kids A, B, C and D in the sandbox, say A gets peeved at the things kid B has been saying and implying....Kid A can't take another minute of it and throws sand at B. Unfortunately, some it flies and hits kid C in the process. Still hurts even if it wasn't meant for her. And then if kid D says "This is great!" it hurts even more.
Kid C doesn't want nor expect any special treatment, especially since it's kid A's sandbox...Not at all - because Kid C really understands where kid A was coming from. But kid C still should say "Hey! Watch where you're throwing crap!"
And because Kid C doesn't want anyone to think she's being petulant, she's going to get out of the sandbox and go play on the slide.
Merry Christmas everyone!