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Raven and everyone else!,
I think most of you know my attiudes on being grateful. I think you are one hundrend perscetn right when you said its when ANYONE is told " YOU should feel grateful" for living, breathing, having shelter or food ect. While it may be true, I am capable of deciding what I am grateful for or not grateful for. I have found that often when a person says something like that to another. OK...a birth, adoptive mother to a child it is usually to get that "child" to feel a certian way towards them. " You should be thankful you were not aborted"( we all should be), "you should be thankful your not begging on the streets"" as if ANYONE desrves that. Its the need to make someone feel indeptness towards you..its a power thing. And it causes the young child, teen and yes some adults to feel less then and not good enough. It also smacks of huge manipulation. Then of course there is the adoptees that DON'T and won"t ever feel grateful and they just may have good reason.
Many of us DO feel grateful that our lives panned out the way they did, I am very grateful that i was adopted into the family I was...but I am NOT grateful for the need to be placed for adoption in the first place. I think most people would feel that way if they really thought about it. Even folks that were brought up in abusive homes that often say they wished they were adopted are not really saying they wishe they were adopted, they wished their families didn't abuse them...the abuse came first, they don't wish for the intial need to be adopted.
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