Quote:
|
Originally Posted by kakuehl
Raven, I've been thinking about this thread and the whole subject of gratitude. I think that, as is so often the case, the problem lies in the fact that some people think other people should feel grateful.
|
Kathy, I think you've hit the proverbial nail on the head. I think that's right were the problem lies...people judging other people for their feelings or lack of feelings. No one has the right to make that kind of a judgment on another human being, IMHO.
I think that another part of the problem may lie in how each of us define gratitude or being grateful. I know some people think that gratitude implies some degree of indebtedness, but that's not how I view it. To me, personally, gratitude is more of an attitude than an emotion.
If you haven't figured out by now, I've spent a significant amount of my adulthood in 12-Step recovery groups.
I think that's where I learned about having
"an attitude of gratitude". My sponsor drummed that one into me...
It's a hard concept sometimes, this being grateful to someone who has caused us pain or harm. For example, I certainly am not grateful to my mom for physically and emotionally abusing me as a child. But I respect her for making the difficult decision she made, when she found out at the age of 16 that she was going to have a baby. I'm grateful to her for all the wonderful things she emphasized to me when I was growing up, like my love of music and books, my love of the sea and small animals. She taught me the value of keeping my word, and even taught me to stand up for myself in the face of adversity.
I guess my point in sharing this with you is I believe there is always something good you can find in another member of the human race, even people who have done us harm. This is a conclusion I've come to in my own life...it's what works best for me. The strange thing, though, is if anybody else demanded that I feel grateful to my mom, I would be really incensed.
I have found for myself that when I don't practice this "attitude of gratitude", my life quickly gets out of kilter. I become filled with anger and bitterness and pain. I don't like to experience those feelings, so I'm safer if I practice gratitude for the day. I hope that makes some sense, lol...
