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This is so hard. For both of you. I think there are as many answers on this as their are people. Every situation is different. As much as we want to, we can't get inside another person's thinking - especially those we hardly know.
In projecting OUR ideas of what's right and wrong or appropriate and expecting that others will agree or even understand our position we try - as is humans do - to influence an outcome. Unfortunately - or fortunately depending on your point of view - we only have sway with ourselves. Pray as we might, each person can only be responsible for their own facts and feelings. You may never know why it is that your daughter feels the way she does right now. I may never know why my mother ler me go and has refused me twice more when all I requested was a simple list of history when it was clear that no contact would occur.
All DO know is that the one constant in life is that "everything changes". All of the time. Everyday. And that some given day my circumstances may change. Maybe not, but maybe yes. But just for today all I can do is self-evolve in order to be the person that I was meant to be in all of my own goodness. I can share this goodness with anyone who appears in my path and I can be ready at any given moment for contact by those in my own history so that they may too meet the best Me that I am.
Nothing makes this situation "right" or less painful. It just makes it our journey and our opportunity to learn acceptance. Mind you, I have never "accepted" much in my life without first slamming my head into a brick wall, but that's just my way. Hopefully YOU will have a more graceful transition.
You sound like a lovely person and a good mother. Don't be swayed by criticism. be kind to yourself and remember that "feelings are not facts". That helps me sometimes.
My best -
Radiodoll
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