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Originally Posted by ChromaKelly
I know it's still very early in the process, but I'm just trying to navigate this whole OA thing. Like a lot of you, we didn't get a whole lot of guidance, it was just "whatever you all are comfortable with". The placing agency seems to favor semi-open (pictures/letters periodically) and that was initially what we were comfortable with. But then we met the birthmom, hit it off fine, and we agreed that phone calls would be nice.
So anyway, baby is 3 months old now, and I've called her a few times. She always sounds pleased to hear from us, but it's always me calling. Something happened where she didn't receive the pictures I had sent, (still don't know what happened, suspect the packages were stolen), and she was supposed to call me with her new address. I wait a couple weeks, she doesn't call. I reprinted all the pictures, and then called her yesterday, but got voicemail. Now I don't know if I should just wait for her to call, or give it another week or so and then call again.
If she isn't up for or doesn't want to talk to me, I understand. I'm not sure if she does want to talk, but isn't big on making the phone call, or if she's trying to give me a hint.
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This is the exact situation we are in with both our kids' other families. It has worn me down alot, the not knowing if/when of it all. I just keep sending pics/letters and hoping. Every once in awhile they respond but it's always after I initiate something. And most, almost all the time, we get absolutely no response to our efforts to keep things open.
Our agency is pretty much out of the picture too. I've asked for advice and their only response has been that they can't believe I'm still trying, that most people give up by this point when things go this way.
I continue to send regular updates (although I have cut back on the number) and assume that they want to get them. That will be my assumption until I hear otherwise. It's that important to me that my children know we tried, that we made our best efforts. And that we continue to hope that something will come of it.
I'm not overly encouraging right now but I'm pretty exhausted and discouraged from the trying at the moment, having just completed another big series of updates for everyone (we send updates to 4-5 different homes depending on who is where). All I know is to keep doing what we're doing.
I hope that things work out for you.