Okay, folks. I've been reading my copy of Melody Beattie's
Codependents' Guide to the Twelve Steps today. On page 7 (paperback edition) it says:
Quote:
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Step One
"We admitted we were powerless over others--that our lives had become unmanageable."
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I've been thinking about being powerless over others and what that means. I've also been thinking about what it means when our lives have become unmanageable due to our codependency. Would anybody like to share their thoughts on Step One?
For myself, I can see how Step One coincides with the tortured dance with the crazymakers referred to in
The Artist's Way. A recent example in my own life is my relationship with my brother. When my mom had her stroke, my brother and I were forced to interact with each other...it did not go well. I am almost nine years older than my brother, and I had way too much responsibility for him while we were growing up. And, consequently, I have a tendency to try to control him, to control whatever situation we're in together.
The only thing, though, is whenever I try to take control (and all the blame for everything), all hell breaks loose. My life becomes "unmanageable", so to speak.
I am trying to get to a place in my own head where I can allow my brother to sort his own things...I can't sort them for him. I can no longer afford to take the blame for his life or his failings...I just can't do it anymore. It makes my life crazy...it makes me feel like I'm going crazy.
Is this what Step One means by the term
unmanageable? What are your feelings and thoughts on the First Step?