Getting back to OP i am a nurture machine but DS will not be held....unless it's a bad injury. He's had maybe 3 where he let one of us hold him. We nurture in other ways because of this....a quick hug, a song, sometimes his bottle or his lovey. We have a whole menu of things that compensate for our less than snuggly baby. He has three cries: bad injury, tired and you took something away whine. He does not cry over normal falling down.
I am SURE he has taken some spills at the park where my perceived under reaction got some glances of disapproval. I've seen it! I usually apologize to the other parent "he doesn't need me to pick him up....he's very tough" I mean I don't know what to say! He always does the slide face first and once he fell and got up and walked away before I even got to him!
So no you can't always know the whole story. The "men don't cry" thing or the "shake it off" thing to me that's not reading the child's signal. That's just an un-nurturing parent. Breaks my heart actually
