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It's interesting that she shows control issues with friends but not at home (that is generally what we all coin "bossiness"). Our DD has a TON of trouble with friendships, but also displays that control at home and with basically anyone in her life. If she is open to talking to you try to figure out why she feels nervous or discouraged with the friends. Are they at a different "life level" than her - maybe more into boys or clothes or MTV or whatever it is? Since she's lost friends before she probably goes into a new friendship with the idea that she'll lose this new friend too - which could lead her to have the same behaviors. I would point out to her that every new friend is a new chance to do something different. Middle school is a tough time for girls and their friendships in general...maybe pushing her to have a lot of acquaintances instead of one or two best friends could benefit her in the long run!
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