[Jackiejdajda]

Janeytwo

One thing I refuse to do is be ashamed of my history of mental illness. I believe society as a whole would like very much to shut the mentally ill away and pretend they're not there but I find that notion rediculous to the point of absurdity. I.e., we ain't goin nowhere and nobody can make us!!

When a woman or girl.. or man or boy.. relinquish a child.. they are told to get over it.. (some are as always) get on with your life.. do the right thing and be happy.. don’t worry.. be happy..
My mom told me I went funny after I gave my first born up..



Jo Ellen wrote.

It could be even though your son has had a great life and is close to you he hasn't worked through his grief of what adoption has done to him internally.

And I think talking about it and expressing the feelings involved in the issues of someone that has been relinquished is very very important..
Its our reaction again.. we don’t want to feel guilt because we are part of the problem or issue.. so we want it to be all better..
Again its don’t worry be happy..


Janey

Part of it for me has to do with the harshness of the rules of my upbringing. You're born; you live; you die; it's over. Don't waste your time on pity for yourself or anyone else. Don't look back.

My mom would quote the bible.. "Don't look back or you will turn to stone.".
I used to have an image in my mind of that..
Don’t remember.. don’t talk about it.. (the walls have ears)… keep the secret..
There is a book I am thinking of downloading from audible.. Atlas Shrugged.. Ann Rand.. its sixty hours of listening..
But I have a feeling she has something really important here to discuss..
How we live in this world today.. or did before..

I keep thinking we are evolving..

Then too, there is the tyranny of the Program. Though it is a blessing; a path to freedom, IMO it also teaches a certain amount of callous detachment. IMO, the long-timers; the old sage ones? Jackie...it must take them years to learn what compassion with detachment is.

I will never forget when a couple that had a son involved in drug addiction being turned away from getting help because of the rules.. the old timers that wanted to rules.. It hurt me..
Sharing what we need to share about our addiction to thinking of other people has to be done.. And we got to sort this ourselves.. pure thinking on our part.. original thinking.. not some rule of thumb..

I looked up Alopecia as I'd never heard of it. It sounds like an illness that challenges a person's perceptions of themself in relation to how others view them. One of those illnesses that cannot be hidden. It must be so hard for both you and your son.

Ten years.. and I have gone through thinking its all my fault.. as I did not care for them proper and they had impetigo.. and that could be the cause to letting it go and getting spiritual..
It just hurts my heart.. and I am sure RC3 is hurting as well..
We can not do them.. and the lessons put in front of them must be their lessons..
We cannot control their lives.. be them..
Love hurts sometimes..

Jackie