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Originally Posted by JeffInGA
One last note - the grandfather - who is not someone we really know did mention that the birth mother would not know who we were or where we lived as he feared she would attempt to take him.
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My initial thinking when I read your post was that since the boy's mother is not caring for him now and into drugs perhaps she would voluntarily give up her parental rights if a good family was found for the boy. But I re-read your initial post and read that the grandfather thinks she will try to take him. If that's the case it doesn't seem she'd be willing to give up her parental rights so easily. But again you never know. Why not ask the grandfather if you can meet her? (If you'd be willing.) Be open with her about wanting to adopt her son. If she sees a loving family wanting to adopt her son perhaps something could change. Just a thought. If she's resistant to the idea of you having him, you'd know that there is a chance that you'd have to return the child (if you take him in) because she may fight it. Also, if you're considering this, it may be good for the grandfather to bring the boy by to visit your family more often so he can get to know you all before moving in. (Perhaps you've already done this, but if not, it would be good for everyone involved.) Also, it would let you know if it's something you really want to do or not.