[mariakw]

Didi, I was really moved by your posts. I'm an adopted adult - 36 y.o. and I always kinda liked my b-days b/c my parents made a big deal out of them. But as I got into my teens they were a little bittersweet when I thought about the loss of my bmom. So, I had a few ideas about your posts. First, I don't know how hard/easy your Aparents are to talk to but if you can work up the courage, I might tell them honestly that you really want them to make a fuss over your birthday, that it's a tough day for you that reminds you of the hurt over losing your bmom. You need to feel extra wanted and important on that day. Second, I think that like the bmom who posted a reply to you, a lot (most? all even?) of birth moms feel loss too. And it sucks because they can't tell you that and you have no way of knowing. I met my bmom about 15 years ago, and ever since, every year, she calls me, or emails or sends a card to remember my birthday. It was really important to her that she finally go to acknowledge my birthday. And it was really nice to know that she was thinking of me. Finally, and I'm sorry for such a long reply, but no matter what, your birthday is the day the world got to welcome you into it. You're here among us living out your own unique and important life. Your bmom wanted to make sure you had that life to live with people who she hoped would care for you in a way she couldn't. So even though she can't tell you herself, she's happy you're here.