I suppose I should think about this in those terms. She did tell me after we met that when she was still looking for me that she had thought about me on Mother's day, Christmas and other times when a mom and child should be together. Maybe that's all it is. I don't know.
I do try to make sure I put those "I Love you" and other things like that in my IM's. I have always tried to make sure I say that to her whenver she and I communicate.
As for my mom, she's not doing too good. She isn't as bad as she was but she's not doing too good. She still can't keep her BP or sugar levels up and she's now having other issues that they are concerned about.
Her feet are completely ripped up because of the "toning" her legs do and her feet too. Her toenails need to be cut but they haven't gotten anyone to do that and so her toenails are digging into the other toes and just ripping the crud out of them.
She's got blisters on her toes as well from the Ted Hose (Sox that help with blood clots issues in the legs and are really tight) they have had her in. For some reason they aren't doing anything but removing the Ted Hose. No meds, no lotions nothing. I'm really concerned. It's why I stay at the hospital as much as I do. To make sure things that need doing get done before I go home.
I keep finding things wrong with her and they are getting annoyed with me pointing them out. BUT if they aren't already alerted because they aren't watching her then there is something wrong with that and I need to alert them so they can take care of her. You know?
Anyway... I have tried to be there everyday and do what I can do but I'm getting sick and I think I am going to end up in bed for several days and not be able to go to the hospital. I'm so worn down I don't know what to do.
I can't leave my mom alone there because they don't take care of her well enough. IMO anyway. My mom tells me I need to stay home more often and do other things but I can't. I feel if I don't do what I can do my mom will die and it will be my fault because I wasn't there to make sure the nurses do their job.
No one else in my family is willing to go spend time with her like I have. MY siblings just don't have the time or desire to do that. My husband can't do it either. My daughter spends time up there but she works and goes to school and she doesn't like leaving her boys with my husband for too long because of his back problems and pain issues. So, the main stuff is left to me.
I just hope I can do this when my mom comes home. There's SO much she's got to learn in the next 5 to 7 weeks when they intend on her going home. I just hope she does.
She's looking so frail these days. I can't even tell you how bad she is looking. Her skin is hanging and extremely dry. Her face is more wrinkled. Her body is just thinning down and she was already thin when she went in. This has been really hard to watch her.
Anyway... Sorry to go on like that. I'm really worried that my mom isn't going to make it too much longer. I just hope it's my own paranoia or worry and not "preminition" you know?
Rylee