[Rylee45]

My daughter has been contacting me lately and we've had a few chats.

The thing is, I pretty sure it's going to end. She knows Christmas is coming soon and I told her I would like to send her something. I know after Christmas it's going to go back to the same ol' same ol' but I guess I'm just glad to have the opportunity to talk with her for short periods of time.

She's been worried about my mom too since I told her about the surgery and the fact my mom is paralized still. My daughter has actually been asking for updates on my mom. That's not something she's ever done before really.

Usually I'm the one telling her stuff and MAYBE she'll respond with an "I'm sorry to hear that. Gotta go now. TTYL" kind of response and then nothing for months. It's been very frustrating.

Now she's actually contacting me a few times a week asking and wanting to know details about my mom and how she's doing. I just don't know if this is all for a Christmas gift she's wanting from me (it will be in the form of a gift certificate) or if she really cares.

It's helped my mom knowing my daughter is asking about her. I just hope it isn't all for Christmas and going to end. My mom is going to be in the hosp a very long time and if Christmas is it my mom is going to be very sad and depressed not to hear my daughter is still around.

Sometimes I wish I could wave a magic wand and make things the way we think they should be and not the way they are with this relationship. I wish we could make her care and be the part of our family she SHOULD have been when she was born. This just really sucks. BUT I'm going to try to enjoy the time with her while I can. You know?

Rylee