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Thank you for all your kind words. They mean so much to me coming from people that obviously have felt exactly what I'm feeling (or currently are - chickymum, you'll be in my prayers).
I haven't felt this awful since we lost our very first babies, and that was out of our control. Having made the decision ourselves seems to make it sting more.
I think I've bonded with them more than I previously recognized and that's why letting go is going to be tougher than I anticipated. I can't quit crying for criminey's sake! I know I love them, but perhaps until now I didn't realize how much I loved them. I just wish love was enough to give them the life they deserve and the help they need to overcome all their obstacles. I hate to think I just wasn't good enough and do pray I'm wrong about how things will be where they'll ultimately end up. I want more than anything for them to just be happy kids.
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