Not exactly the adoption dream you invisioned, huh? Parenting AD teens is down right hard and it does feel like torture. If she's not listening, don't talk. Give non talking consequences.
Forget how to drive, remove the phone, if she's stealing, sell her stuff to pay restitution. Don't wash her clothes, don't buy her anything.
Respond to her behavior as the outside world will. Use one line phrases with her. "Interesting choice" "Wonder how this will work out for you?" "bummer" "I love you too much to argue"
Remind yourself that her behavior has nothing to do with you and is about her.
You may want to post in the specil needs part of this forum. Lots of moms of ad kids there. Also,
Welcome to Attachment & Trauma Network* - ATN has a support list for parents of teens with AD/RAD.