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Originally Posted by Foundoutat50
I'm a bit confused because you say that throughout your life you've given barely a thought to your adopted status ... which makes me think it wasn't a big deal for you, didn't cause you a huge amount of emotional pain ... yet you think it might be the explanation for "all these problems".
I guess it depends on what your problems are ... sometimes we carry scars from experiences and don't realize how it impacts our choices, fears, etc. Perhaps some of your problems have genetic origins - things that end up happening just because of the personality traits you inherited.
I just struggle with the disconnect I'm seeing between "never giving it much more than a passing thought" and the idea that you're scarred for life... the first statement says it's never mattered much and the second statement says you wonder if you'll ever escape the tragedy of it.  |
Some people do not realize how adoption has been the "root" of many problems in their lives until they read or hear that many adoptees have gone through the same thing.
We know instinctively there is something "not right" about us, but do not have our lightbulb moment until we hear of others reactions.
I TOTALLY get it. Even at the age of 43, I am discovering how my adoption has impacted the way I handle relationships...good and bad.
There is no right or wrong way to feel-everyone's thoughts and or discovery process is different.