Ravensong
Quote:
Originally Posted by RC3
What can I say, that I haven't said before, that will make the difference tho, without him shutting me out the minute he realizes what I want him to do? I look at it like drug addiction...how can I help him if he won't help himself?
The times in my life when I have been at the very bottom of the dark ladder, way out there in the darkness, I've needed someone to pull me back. There was no way I could do it myself...no way. Unfortunately, when someone "bottoms out" in depression, it often translates into suicide. The pain is so intense, so deep, you really don't see a way out. The depression, itself, creates a certain lethargy. You lose all motivation, optimism, positive feelings, all that and more.
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I have always had a low grade depression.. this through the drug years and before..
I know I have scared my kids.. my husband just does not believe me.. I can remember standing on the American side of Niagara Falls and you can basically just step into the water and go over.. there is a photo of a man who had lost a lot of money at one of the casinos standing at the edge of the falls.. what an image..
His fellow man came and rescued him.. the rescue people.. the ones that risk their lives to rescue people..
And there is a film about the bridge in Sanfrancisco where people jump all the time.. someone put a camera on the bridge..
Its just too hard some times..
I know there is a way to pull someone out of a deep depression.. the right string of words.. but my son won’t let me say them.. Not allowed..
My daughter called yesterday and I told her that he had reached another stage of the alopecia.. and she said.. “mom don’t you get all worried about him because he can feel you.. and your worry”..
So I tried to lighten it up and tried to change my mood.. but I worry..
I honestly do not know how to help someone that does not want help.. and I immediately want to say.. cut off.. save yourself..
And I bet my son has no thoughts of anything bad he is just pissed off.. and its me with my insanity my cut offs that is thinking the way that I would think..
I don’t know..
Jackie