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Originally Posted by Boulderbabe
Except that it's not really a gift. Would the paparents be giving huge sums of money to a complete stranger if they weren't expecting to get a baby out of it at the end? They're having their arms twisted by the adoption agency, which is calling these sorts of expenses a fee, not a gift.
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I'm starting to really question how the adoption industry is getting away with charging their extravagant, outrageous "fees" at all. I'm sorry, maybe I'm just too dense to "get it". But how in the world is $30,000 or $35,000 not selling/buying a baby?
Personally, I wish all adoptions were handled through the state or county governments. No fees, other than legal expenses and cradle care. Back in the 1970's, all the county DHS's here in California handled voluntary newborn adoptions. There were no fees to the aparents, and MediCal picked up medical costs for all prenatal and delivery costs.
The only other agencies back then in California were the big ones, like Catholic Charities and Children's Home Society. It's my understanding that they only charged nominal fees in those days.
When in the world did all these private agencies start popping up? And why are they charging so much money? And how are they side-stepping the whole issue of baby selling???
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Originally Posted by Boulderbabe
Seems to me that these sorts of payments are coercive to both parties, the bparents and the aparents. All the more reason not to match at all until the baby is actually born......
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I agree that matches shouldn't occur until after baby is born. One thing I'd like to point out, though. When coercion happens to an expectant mom or birthmom, I think it's a more serious issue. After all, she's the one that losing her child (if she surrenders under coercion). You can never replace a child you've brought into this world. You can always replace money, but you can't replace a human life. Just my two cents, my very tired two cents...