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Originally Posted by SchmennaLeigh
I second (third, fourth, whatever) the idea that potential families should go into any money handling with the understanding that it is a gift. Otherwise, not only is it coercive for the expectant mother but akin to the purchasing of a child. Not that, often, that is even the intent. But if you are viewing that money as anything other than a gift, it puts it in a different category than what is allowable by law.
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Except that it's not really a gift. Would the paparents be giving huge sums of money to a complete stranger if they weren't expecting to get a baby out of it at the end? They're having their arms twisted by the adoption agency, which is calling these sorts of expenses a fee, not a gift.
Seems to me that these sorts of payments are coercive to both parties, the bparents and the aparents. All the more reason not to match at all until the baby is actually born......