[DASmith]

It is coming into my most UNfavorite times of the year. For as long as I can remember I have gotten severely depressed during the holidays. I think this is the first year that I have been able to understand why. I feel the same empty void that I feel the rest of the year not knowing about bfamily but with the holidays it seems to EXPLODE and become even larger than ever. I put on a brave face but for my son and stepdaughter but I really wish I could just go to sleep and wake up the day after Christmas and everything would be okay. The sad thing is I feel really guilty for feeling like this but I hide it because my son doesn't deserve to have his holidays ruined for something that he had no control over. I just feel super alone and although I know that there are many people going through the same thing I am I know it sounds so cliche but I feel no one else could possibly understand how I feel. Thanks for letting me get this off my chest and Happy Holidays everyone (especially when they're over). Danny