[EZ2Luv]

I just wanted to chime in as a fellow adoptee with a bit of advice. First, I am sorry you bmom is smothering and attempting control and make up for lost time.

I think all to many times Bmoms still envision their bchildren as babies/children and forget that they are all grown up with lives of their own. Even still that doesn't make that behavior acceptable.
All that I have read about reunion and it makes sense is to set boundries early on and stick to them. Don't forget until you all met you were related but strangers to each other so boundries are very important al least until you get to know the person.

Also, remember that you are not reponsible for anyone elses happiness o emotional health. Whatever expectations your bmom came into the reuinion with are strictly hers to sort out. Yes it is wonderfulto be considerate and understanding but as an adult we must behave like adults and accept that years have gone by and reunion is only the begining. You must take time to get to know each other without placing unrealistic demands on each other. There is simply no way of making up for lost time.

Just be strong, firm and respectful. Relationships are two way streets and must be formed on mutual respect. Your bmom needs to be reminded of this.

EZ