RC3
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I kept praying that God take me out of this place. I guess that wasn't the in plan so I quit asking. I don't know. Maybe, I held on to some kind of hope..maybe, some just can't see any light at the end of the tunnel, so to speak. Maybe that IS the light at the end of the tunnel for them!?! I so want to understand this.
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Some will say when a person gives a child up for adoption that this is the worse pain (the actual giving up).. but I wonder about this.. what you are going through must be terrible.. just terrible.. I am sitting doing my day stuff and I keep thinking of you and your situation..
I worry about my kids.. and sometimes I seize up worrying.. unable to really sort what my part in this is..
My son (not the one I relinquished) made choices and also hard hard things have happened to him..
I work today to pull myself out of this kind of worry..
And here you are with the complication of adoptive parents and who is who.. you must be worried sick..
I don’t know why some people get stuff like this visited on them.. Its hard being a mother..
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My son went out with this girl he really liked for about a month and she dedcided that she couldn't be in a relationship with him right now. That...I don't get. To want to die because of someone else's opinion.
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I think this is why we really really have to go the extra mile for our kids.. but its so hard..
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I do understand wanting to check out for other reasons though. I have known that kind of darkness. I have come to realize over the years, as most do, things always work themselves out...one way or another.
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I have always thought of checking out as a way out.. the terrible depression when I did not tell anyone about having given my son up for adoption.. My pain.. my worry.. Not telling anyone.. not sharing what I was going through I think is what gives some of us the reason to just check out..
I keep calling my son.. and I keep worrying about him..
Jackie