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sblk,
I would suggest that you create a list of 'how and when' and look at the pro's and con's of each scenario, on paper. Once something is laid out in writing it is easier to view objectively.
Example of a how and when to list - which is just off the top of my head:
As a group, each with his own story, starting from oldest to youngest. Pro's - they all find out at the same time and can talk it out with you and between them. Con's - each of your children are unique and may react differently and you won't be able to address it then specifically.
As to being their Mom and Dad...from an adoptee...YOU ARE THEIR MOM AND DAD...being honest ensures that they always trust you. They have another family out there but that family is unique to YOU and YOU are unique to them - we have more than enough love to love both families in different ways. YOU are raising YOUR children, they are YOUR children. Don't worry you are unique and not replaceable.
Take a deep breath, look to your future, a future built with your family in complete honesty (age appropriate of course).
Kind regards,
Dickons
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