As a birthmom, I am so sorry this is happening to you. It sounds like your birthmother is not at an emotionally healthy place in her own head, IMHO.
You have every right in the world to set boundaries with her. You have every right in the world to have peace of mind and your own personal space.
Can you write her a letter by hand (not email), explaining how you're feeling right now? Just tell her you need for her to quit smothering you so much. She also needs to be more respectful of your parents and family. It always amazes me when a birthmom doesn't realize that by disrespecting her child's parents, she's disrespecting her child.
I'm glad you asked for advice. Sometimes reunion can be a bit overwhelming, and it's helpful to get other people's perspectives. Good luck, and keep posting.
