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Originally Posted by cetalley
Curiosity, I was just wondering...why this reunion, attempt of contact is not just between you and firstdad? I see where you did not ask firstmom to interject, but for what ever reason she has. I sugeest you thank her for her help, but you will contact him from here on out. It is thoughful she is trying to help...but you have no idea what HE is being told and HE may need more time to process this. He may not have even recieved your e-mail, it may be being recieved from yet another 3rd party...does this make since? I think you should write him a letter and send it registered(and yes you can send it with HIM being the only one who can sign ). Until you speak to him and him only try not to assume too much. We all take different amounts of time to process these things. I have yet to locate my twin sons...but if and when , it will be only between me and them...no one else. When this happens and they wish info on their firstdad, I will give them this info, and THEY can do as they see fit with it. I will NOT be their go between, unless they ask me to. Reunion is so sensitive,, and overwhelming to say the least. Do not give up hope...you have come this far and I am sure you had many waits along the way. I send this with blessings and hope...  |
The problem is that I don't actually have his address. I don't know where my bmom got his phone number from. The house he had been living in last was sold by the state he lives in, and I have not found a new listing for him. I found an address for a person that MIGHT be his wife but I don't know if he lives there. I've also paid a search service for this and they haven't come up with anything.
My bdad has a history of avoidance where responsibilities are concerned. I spoke with the lawyer that handled my adoption and he spent some time hiding from process servers when they were trying to give him court documents to sign.
While it would be nice to get to know him as a person I don't really feel that's what he wants. Which is okay, the important thing to me is just having some medical background from him. I haven't talked to my bmom about her contacting him yet I'm still working on a tactful way to do that.