[EZ2Luv]

((HUGS)) Yesterday was my birthday and I found myself reflecting on the day as well. I had this great post written up, the phone rang and while I was on the phone in the other room my little one decided to play with my computer. Post disappeared.

Anyhow, it boggles my mind how on that day a woman gave birth and chose not to see or hold me and have a social worker hand me over to some coldblooded uncaring nuns. While my aparents knew about my birth and could only yearn to hold and see me with open arms. So it is a bittersweet day of sorts. I choose to focus on the the sweet part of it, but it wasn't until I gave birth to my own babies that I realized how I couldn't wait to hold and love on my precious bundle. They couldn't hand him to me quick enough.

I wish I had the magical answer for you. Some say that bmom pushed us away and refused to love on us because it was a defense mechanism because they hurted too much, but I find it very difficult to accept this reasoning. I don't care how much a bmom hurted, it is just too inhumane to yell out "get it away from me"(what my bmom did).

My only consolation is that I was blessed multiple times over when I finally made it into my Aparent's arms.

EZ