I just wanted to lend a hug and a wish for some sleep for you!
When you have more than one child, there is NO way to spend all the individual time with each one that we feel each deserves. This is in the case of your home or any other.
With birth children...this happens as well. First child gets loads and toads of time, attention and stuff. Next kid comes along and Mom is on a MAJOR guilt trip because #2 doesn't get as much time, attentnion or stuff as #1 did....AND now you're feeling guilty more because #1 isn't getting as much time, attention or stuff as s/he used to before the baby came.
By child #3, you realize that this is the way of life...that children do ok on less time, attention and stuff. WE feel that they all need more, but they probably don't NEED as much as we want for them, individually.
What I'm saying is that there isn't any other mother out there who could do a better job than what you're doing. The fact that you are stressed over giving attention to each shows how much you care and that you are giving as much as you feasibly can.
It WILL get easier over time, as the baby heals and as the older child feels more secure.
If you don't have one, get a free or cheap playpen/pack-n-play to keep the little one in while you're busy. That will contain her in 1 place safely while you tend to other things. She might fuss over the containment but she'll be fine. It is better for her to be safe than for you to be sorry. As long as she can see you, she will know you are there for her.
Kids have a way of always making you feel that they are deprived no matter how much time, attention or stuff you give them. This includes when you only have 1 child. The give an inch/take a mile happens from the minute they're born...and they DO deserve all you can give them, especially the younger they are.
BUT...that said....you might have to say no more than you'd like in order to make room to take care of yourself. They need you to be mentally sane, so a little playpen time is better than a strung-out Mommy.
More hugs and hopes that you have a much better day and that the children are feeling more loved and safer than they ever have.
