[Indy]

It seems like I have been posting so much lately...

Touchy-feely things are tough on a single dad. Last night, I spoke to V one on one. He hates that. Well...I mean I spoke and he nodded (yes, no, and maybe). It started out kind of laying the ground rules for his being taken off of house arrest and having the ankle bracelet.

It turned into a confrontation, as he tried to walk away and I wasn't finished with the conversation. I called him back and he did come. We "talked" about a lot of things.

I never know if I am getting through to him. When he came back into the room, he said several times "I don't care" and "why are you talking I am not listening". However, he kept nodding (yes, no, maybe) at times one would expect a response. V has never been real good about looking me in the eye, even when lying (characteristic of RAD).

At first, he hid his eyes from me. When I started talking about what I felt hurt/anger/confusion, he started rubbing his eyes. I saw no tears, as he wouldn't look at me. I kept reminding him who has stood by him for the past two years...through good and bad things. I specifically asked him if he wanted to go to Thailand with me next year. I was shocked when he said "yes". He was mad at me and still said yes. Is that a good sign or him trying to manipulate? Last night, he came and hugged me good night, as though nothing happened. He even said "I love you" back when I said it to him.

Before V came here...he had a good size juvie record. It is my understanding that he wasn't caught for most of the stuff he and his brother did. I don't want to minimize what he has done (especially smoking marijuana) but many teenagers out there have done the same things. They just haven't gotten caught.

When you look at what he has been through and how adults have failed him his entire life...he does care about me. He complies with every request to help with chores. He tried in public school. He pretty much stayed out of trouble in school. He doesn't try to get around the blocks on TV (nothing above PG13, no MTV/BET/VH1, etc), never tried to get around NetNanny on the internet, never any contraband in his room (and I have searched everything), never late for curfew, never disrespectful to me in front of anyone, complies with cell phone rules, etc. Wow! That is some list.

Am I getting through to him? Should I back off on the emotional talks? Is he to far gone? The emotional bank account for him is overdrawn. He has never really responded to me as a son "normally" would. I am not talking about expecting response like a bio child.

Am I expecting to much from him?