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We had lots of trouble with night terrors when we got home (happen within an hour or two of onset of sleep, patient CAN NOT be aroused from them, has no memory of them afterward). Yes, those were awful for us. We discovered they almost happened when we varied our routine and kept DS out late. So we are always the first to leave every dinner party, and things had been better.
We've just now (2 years later) started having problems with nightmares. Much later in the sleep cycle (which means we're usually asleep ourselves, or I guess I should say were.) Lots of shouting now. Can be awoken, but then trembling, sweating, crying, and afraid to go back to sleep, even if moved to our bed. (Speaks mostly Spanish....sobs "no dormir, no dormir".) Hasn't been able to tell me the content of nightmares...makes him upset to try to talk about them, whether day or night.
I'm so impressed with your thoughtful approach to finding a solution, your dedication to doing what is right for her even though it's exhausting you, and your insight that you need to get validation from others who have kids with similar backgrounds...so we're here to tell you we have similar experiences. Sorry your nights are so much more challenging than the days. I guess the fact that the days are so good would give me hope that eventually the ongoing positive experiences and security of her life with you will help her heal and put at bay whatever is disrupting her sleep.
Que tu y Liana empiecen a son~ar con los angelitos.....
Peace.
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