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He's all through the pledge process now except for the final exam and the initiation. I think he's just being very slow to drop because he can drop at anytime but it's not reversible. I personally don't get it and I'm with you girls. For his part, he's satisfied with standing his ground on the issue, but continuing on at this point, vs walking away. I would have voted for walking away, like you.

His college REALLY PUSHES greek life. And I mean REALLY PUSHES. A whopping 70% of the student body are in a frat or sorority. I kid you not. And the administration is really behind it. The first thing his advisor told him to do as a brand new frosh was to join a frat. I hit the roof at that so-called "academic advising" and told him he had to wait a year to see if it's really what he wanted. Nearly all on-campus fun activities revolve around frat functions.

Also, there is pitifully no ministry presence on campus. Because this school began as a denominational school and is officially affiliated with a denomination (Disciples of Christ/Christian Church) all the other churches completely ignore it and don't have a presence there like they do at the big public universities. There are 17 different Christian groups at UCLA, with full time campus pastors dedicated to on-campus ministry. At his university, there are a couple really wimpy bible studies and that's it. Seriously, I have looked and looked. But the school is SO determined to make it crystal clear that despite their affiliation they are NOT a Christian school, they bend over backwards to be practically anti-Christian. So it's like his particular school has somehow fallen into the chasm with the net result of no Christian support system.

J has actually met with 2 different youth pastors in the county a couple times each about starting up on-campus ministries there, and they've talked a good game and seemed enthusiastic, but done nothing. We've even talked about him just starting something on his own, but he really doesn't want to take on the organizational and leadership burden as a 19-yr old with a full load of classes when there are pastors all around who are trained and paid to be able to do that. It's just that none of them have yet.

I've really not been happy with his school overall so far. I was so prepared to be on the parent council and get season tickets and support the school, but with everything that's happened, I've refused to give them a cent above what we owe for tuition and fees.

But I always told J that college would be his choice and his choice alone and I'm going to honor that even if it rankles me. I've always felt that choice of college is one of the first highly impactful, self-determining decisions that a young person gets to make for the direction of their lives. It's where he chose and I thought I would like it, but I hate it so far. But I got to choose where I went so I won't take that from him. But I don't have to be chipper and like it and I sure don't...at this point at least. I hope someday I can look back and there will be some grand reason why it's so good that he went there because some wonderful good came of it. I can't see that now, but I'm still hoping.