I wanted to pass along a link to another well respected expert in grief and loss, Alan Wolfelt. The following link is to an article entitled: The Journey Through Grief:
The Mourner's Six "Reconciliation Needs". While he is talking about death in his article, you can replace your loss experience.
Center For Loss: For people who are grieving and those who want to help them
The reality is loss is loss whether it is the physical death of a person, the loss one experience's through relinquishing a child, the loss the adoptive couple experiences when they are unable to have a biological couple, divorce, moving, etc. I hope you find this article. The first section doesn't fit exactly to the loss birthmother experiences, but I was able to reframe it in the sense that while my son may come back into my life in the future, it will not be the same relationship I had with him while I carried him in utero. And it's that reality that I have to confront. I also think it's important that the article clarifies the difference between grief and mournng, two very distinct processes. And while Kubler-Ross offers us the "what to possibly expect", there is not exact formula to the grief process. It's individual for everyone and it's okay to cry. Sometimes you may feel like you're not sure if you even have enough tears left to continue crying, but as cliche as it may sound, tears are healing. Also, counseling can be helpful and it wouldn't be a bad idea if you continue to feel "depressed". Having a safe place to share your thoughts and feelings can be empowering and comforting as you walk along this life-changing journey.