[shavon]

mothers do know best!!!!

> 1. My mother taught me TO
> APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
> 'If you're going to kill
> each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning.'
>
> 2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
> 'You better pray that will
> come out of the carpet.'
>
> 3. My mother taught me about TIME
> TRAVEL.
> 'If you don't straighten
> up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next
> week!'
>
> 4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
> 'Because I said so,
> that's why.'
>
> 5. My mother taught me MORE
> LOGIC.
> 'If you fall out of that
> swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store
> with me.'
>
> 6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
> 'Make sure you wear clean
> underwear, in case you're in an accident.'
>
> 7. My mother taught me IRONY.
> 'Keep crying, and I'll
> give you something to cry about.'
>
> 8. My mother taught me about the
> science of OSMOSIS.
> 'Shut your mouth and eat your
> supper.'
>
> 9. My mother taught me about
> CONTORTIONISM.
> 'Will you look at that dirt
> on the back of your neck!'
>
> 10. My mother taught me about
> STAMINA.
> 'You'll sit there until
> all that spinach is gone.'
>
> 11. My mother taught me about
> WEATHER.
> 'This room of yours looks as
> if a tornado went through it.'
>
> 12. My mother taught me about
> HYPOCRISY.
> 'If I told you once, I've
> told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!'
>
> 13. My mother taught me the
> CIRCLE OF LIFE.
> 'I brought you into this
> world, and I can take you out.'
>
> 14. My mother taught me about
> BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
> 'Stop acting like your
> father!'
>
> 15. My mother taught me about
> ENVY.
> 'There are millions of less
> fortunate children in this world who don't
> have wonderful parents like you
> do.'
>
> 16. My mother taught me about
> ANTICIPATION.
> 'Just wait until we get
> home.'
>
> 17. My mother taught me about
> RECEIVING.
> 'You are going to get it when
> you get home!'
>
> 18. My mother taught me MEDICAL
> SCIENCE.
> 'If you don't stop
> crossing your eyes, They are going to freeze that
> way.'
>
> 19. My mother taught me ESP.
> 'Put your sweater on;
> don't you think I know when you are cold?'
>
> 20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
> 'When that lawn mower cuts
> off your toes, don't come
> running to me.'
>
> 21. My mother taught me HOW TO
> BECOME AN ADULT.
> 'If you don't eat your
> vegetables, you'll never grow up.'
>
> 22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
> 'You're just like your
> father.'
>
> 23. My mother taught me about my
> ROOTS.
> 'Shut that door behind you.
> Do you think you were born in a barn?'
>
> 24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
> 'When you get to be my age,
> you'll understand.'
>
> 25. And my favorite: my mother
> taught me about JUSTICE.
> 'One day you'll have
> kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!