[dac_cincy]

KC-

I really understand where you are coming from. I went throughthe same things nad we are going through them again now.

Bug;s foster family also left him when he was alseep and he woke up with me - multiple times.

Somethings I have tried and they work at times-
1. I let him go to sleep on the couch by me- it means I am constantly telling him ot lay his head down,but it works after about 30 minutes. It does mean I have to screen my TV shows becuase until he falls asleep- viewing has to be toddler appropriate.
2. He sleeps in my bed. We tried co spleepign when he first came home, but stopped after 1.5 weeks becuase he gotout of bed and I could not sleep. We started back with co sleeping on weekends after 8 month home and now he has been co sleeping with me since October. But it sounds like you are doing this already.
3. I live in a ranch style home, so he is never out of hearing range- I can hear him moving in bed and I call him out on it. I do the same things each night after he goes to bed- TV and email and he constantly asks what I am doing. I think it helps him when we have the same routinue.
4. I spend and have spent a lot of time reassuring him that I will not leave him at night, that I will be in the livingroom, I will come to bed and we will sleep together and wake up together. I thin we go through this at least once or twice a week.
5. Now that he is older, I can ask him why he is scared- usually monsters and bad mend are coming to take him, we go through it over and over that there are no monsters, that momma will not let anyone take him, that ther are no bad men in our house, etc. i think lots of these come from his age- seem developmentatlly appropraite.
6. When he goes to bed, I have to leave the bathroom light on and the hall light - night lights do not work. If I try to turn any of the lights off while he is sleeping, he wakes up. I think he needs the light to recognize where he is when he wakes up. I finally have been able to turn off the night light once I come to bed (I turn off all the other lights)- I can not sleep with lots of light, but Bug needed it for a number of months even after he was in my bed. Again, he needed to be able to recognize where he was when he woke up in the night.

And as I am sure you know- our deepest fears come out at night- that is why she is fine during the day and then is not at night.

I wish had an answer for you- some magic thing that would make it better. I don't,but I am sending you hugs as I know how hard this is and the toll it takes on you.

Love and hugs,
Deb