[Dickons]

Originally Posted by thelowlanders

This is a toughie.

I went to CRB meetings today for both F children. I was completely torn from both aspects.

1 side: Mom is crying, missing all her son's firsts such as sitting, crawling, standing, etc. and is worried about lack of attatchment. Asking for more time at visits. They were basically blowing her off. I felt for her, and acknowledged to the board that there is not much room in SW schedule, but would highly recommend more time for mom w/ son because he's at an age of being ready to attatch. Really seems to not know her. Especially if he were returned, it would be best for him to not go to a "stranger" it would seem to him.

But here's side 2 creeping up in me: Wow, It's sad you missed his first standing up. But you shouldn't have missed his sitting and first crawling if you weren't neglecting him. He likely would have been doing this before he got taken away if you would have simply removed him from his carseat. He would have been less comatose if he wouldn't have been putting up w/ physical abuse.

So, my point is. I'm trying to grow through this. Be supportive to them. And to their children. She realized quickly when I vouched for her visit time, that I'm not trying to "steal" her kid. We actually started crying together, geesh. I recognize the hard decisions she's having to make. But on the other hand, I'm not quite there on understanding allowing your children to be put in danger. Period. And not being willing to separate from this person.

So I can see how people may be frustrated by their behavior and decisions. But I can also see where some of these people just need support, a safe place for their children, and when the timing is right.... a second chance. I just hope and pray that everyone involved makes sure they're actually ready.

Vegas C- Nicely put. Maybe I should print that and put it up by my mirror for me to read every morning. This truly is a journey for me.

Bravo! Well done! The journey of life is a never ending process of learning. Being brave enough to come here and ask the tough questions, struggle (or not) with the answers provided, means you have the best intentions for your children. They will grow up with the concept of looking at the bigger picture - because you are willing to look at the bigger picture - even if they are only with you a short time they will be better for it.

Kind regards,
Dickons