I really wanted to keep my mouth shut but can't
I am a former foster child and a foster parent. I have had four long term placement so far. Three sets of bios, two of which are simply addicts and seem to have neglected their kids. They love their kids they just can't seem to put the pieces of their lives together and struggle with addiction. I have empathy for them. Often times they irk me a little but I would never speak poorly of them. I will do and have done everything I can to help them get their kids home.
The other bio I have dealt with also had a drug problem. And truth be known I am sure some mental health issues. That said I will never be able to put my head around what she did. Do I harbor nasty feelings towards her? Honestly yep! I would never speak poorly about her in front of her child and I am more than civil to her in person...but it takes some serious effort. My fd was allegedly sexually abused by this woman herself and often traded sexually for drugs. This little girl is shattered. It makes me angry. The things this beautiful little girl did to herself to act out the abuse would be so terrible, so awful... This is my exception to the everyone makes mistakes rule. (which I truly believe in most cases). This is why I think all sides have good points. As a foster parent you should work towards r/u when it's the goal (9 times out of 10 or whatever). You should do back flips to help bios get their kids back but sometimes there is a case that is different. Sometimes it's not just they didn't know how to parent, drugs came into play, or there was neglect. Sometimes there was something much harder to get past. Everyone here means well.
