[kakuehl]

As I read through this thread, I had a couple of thoughts (being me I have to share them, of course!) First a comment, then a story!

One of the first courses I had in seminary was about language and communication and some learnings have stuck with me! All of us speak a different language (yes, I know we think we're all speaking English). Our uderstanding of vocabulary is affected by our own experiences. You literally do not hear what I thought I said! I see a lot of that happening in this thread. This, btw, is one reason the ADG says to avoid generalizations! I can talk about my experience but I can't assume that everyone else has the same experience. I can share my experiences and insights and you will hear (read) what I say from your own perspective. (BTW, I am a birthmom who has never done drugs, neglected or abused my kids... who chose to relinquish my firstborn at birth - he was not removed from my care -- just so you know a bit of my background. I am currently an ordained Lutheran minister with a master's degree.)

Now the story: years ago, when I was teaching, I had a student who was physically abused by his father. (There 5 children, Dad beat everyone; for some reason the children were not removed from the home.) When David was in high school (I was his chorus director), his father was in a car wreck that left him in a vegetative state. I remember thinking how relieved David must be and being astounded (befuddled?) at how much pain he was in because of his father's situation... at how much he cared about and for his dad, this man who regularly beat him. I have never fostered, but my students have taught me much.