[lovemy2boys]

mondk,

We were in the same situation with AJ's firstdad for years...

We had minimal information, and thought about him constantly! Especially after he married and had a son (who is now a toddler)...

D (AJ's firstmom) was still VERY angry at him and wasn't open to us having a relationship with him (not that it was her choice, but we STILL wanted to be respectful to her feelings about the situation so it was hard to know what the RIGHT thing to do was...) She DID provide a last name, and I found him on myspace (lordy whoever created myspace had NO idea the millions of cans of worms he'd be opening!!) But like I said - I waited to do anything because I wanted her "blessing" I guess...

Anyway, D and I happened to be talking about M (firstfather) one day...and she said that she realized alot of the issues were not really indicative of the person he is, and said she'd like to find him and work through some things...so I told her I'd found him...

Well, she contacted him, he said he wanted to contact us (this was a year and a half ago) we had one weird, short email period last year, I thought that was it...

On one had I was glad to see pics of him and his family...glad to know a bit about his life...but really confused as to why he didn't want "more" KWIM?

Well, apparently he had been talking to D about it a bit, and she wasn't ready for us to meet, so he kind of put it out of his mind...Fast forward to a month ago, we get a call from him out of the blue, (he was in our state and his family got together with D and we obviously came up) we met him and it was great - Adam loved meeting him and his family, and so did we...

In fact, he called us yesterday for AJ's birthday! I can't even tell you what a thrill that was!!!

But it's hard, you know? We are starting this new "relationship" here - he seems unsure of himself...I don't want to push...and I KNOW D has some issues with this because one minute she wants us to have him in AJ's life, the next minute she says really inappropriate things about M...so I'm really trying to keep the relationships separate, and not involve either firstparent in my relationship with the other.

Anyway, we'll take it as it comes...and it's not easy because there is a history between D and M and I know that's going to make things hard to navigate, so I have to tread cautiously...