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Originally Posted by TxMom65
I am an adoptive mom and hope you don't mind my reply.
Of course your birthday is a day to reflect and remember your birthmom. You two were together that day!
Your feelings are very real and raw. I hope you have someone in real life you can talk to about them. It helps to get them out and not bottle them out.
My birthday is also close to Christmas and growing up I felt shafted many times. Yours is more than that. It is no way a relfection of you or your being good enough.
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Don't ever hate your birthday honey. That is your day - your special day. You are so blessed each time you are alive and on this earth to see another one. Do you know the reason why your birth mother gave you up? I used to feel the same way. For so many years I was sad on my birthday. But I found out that it is MINE!!! When you grow up your life becomes yours. Hey, lemme tell you, I FOUND my birth mother after I had my firstborn and you know what? she left me again! And guess what - I don't care because there is nothing she can give me that I don't have. I have love, I have wonderful older female role models who have been more of a mother to me than a lot of birth moms who raise their kids. She lost out on seeing how fabulous and accomplished I turned out - thanks to my adopted parents. So let it go honey. Let it go! You SO deserve your special day. Pamper yourself and enjoy all that you have been able to experience. Do you have children? Are you married? Do you have an adopted family? I'd like to know. I do hope you are feeling better about all of this. Hey. I know my birth mom thinks about me on my birthday - when I met her she told me she thought about me every birthday and well, that's good enough for me.