[cetalley]

Originally Posted by bakerjw

To do that takes communication.

It also takes time and needs to go slow. It sounds like things went very quickly which usually means too quickly.

As already advised, keep to the side, don't get caught in the middle, and be supportive.

Best wishes.

Hello to all, I thought I might chime in and say, that as a Firstmom, I have to agree with Bakerjw...both side ( firstmom and son) have to have clear ground rules. I also feel that the meeting should have been in a place that was mutual...(i.e...restaurnt, cafe, or coffee shop. But I also feel that this reunion has moved entirely too fast. I know, I have waited 22 yrs, but if and when I find my twin son , this reunion will go at a very slow pace, even though I would love nothing more than to meet them yesterday! I also think alcohol in a new reunion is not at all wise. I would end by saying...this is your partner/significant other, and I understan he WANTS you there, but it can nott be this way. Please take no offense...as a firstmom, when and if I get to meet, I do not want others involved and i do not want my husband to be there. This is about alot of sensitive, personal emotions and questions ...not a time for "meet my partner and kids" , these emotions and questions, along with guilt and grief, have been inplace way befor our significant other families. I think you are so wonderful to worry about your mate, but if he needs to back off for a while...HE needs to tell her so, and under no circumstances should this bet let go. But I implore him, to not just STOP communication, for this is devastating to either part of this triad....I mean no offense, and congrats on your wedding...who knows maybe by the time the nuptials will be said...you will all be in better places...as a firstmom, I am saddened each day of all the special occasions I have missed in my twins lives, but utimately it is YOUR day..so good luck, keep coming, we are here to listen...