This is something I struggle with, too. Yesterday, my MIL referred to my DS's bmom as his "mother." I have to admit it hurt! But then, practically in the same breath, she's referring to me as his mom. I was going to correct her (AGAIN-this has been an ongoing learning process for some of our family), but just left it alone, which is unlike me
. I think I realized that, while she does need to start using the language that DH and I want our family to use when describing our DS's adoption, these "slip-ups" aren't always bad-intentioned. However, I do think it's important that our family get good at using positive adoption language soon, before our DS understands what they're saying, so that, when he does, it will be easier on him. Also, our son's bmom only wants to be called her first name, which is something we need to remind our family of. Sometimes it's not even enough just to use terms that are commonly accepted in the adoption world, but better to use terms/titles that all people in the triad are comfortable with. Like I said, though, I've struggled with this. And, I'm even guilty of having slip-ups myself! I just think it's so normal for many of us (me included) to want to fully possess the title of "mom" or "dad" because that's what we are-why do we have to share that title with anyone? But, I guess I have to remind myself that being a mom isn't about the title (although I can't wait until he says it to me
), it's so much more I can't put it into words (and know I don't have to because I'm sure you all feel it too).