[telman999]

in 2006 my niece was taken into custody her mom has a drug problem. I knew before they took her and filed all the appropriate paperwork 2yrs of court battles later I gave up and made a visitation agreement with the preadoptive family. It was a very hard choice but it had to be made. I have a son now (my former nephew) who we finalized on his adoption on nov 21. His little sister also lives with us, Being a foster parent and an adoptive parent when it is family is by far the most difficult thing we have ever done. First of all we have a daughter in college and an 18 month old and a 9 week old. We also have to deal with the emotional toll this takes on family. I know why the kids were removed more info than a normal foster parent would have. I agree that the placement is needed. after a couple yrs 'in the system" I learned a couple things 1) SW are great and want to help kids but their hands are mostly tied they rarely are the ones making decisions if in doubt contact their supervisor 2) in my state all children are appointed lawyers and the courts appoint a guardian at lidem ( hope I spelled that right) they represent the child and are impartial express you concerns to them and they too will work for the protection of the childs best interest. and for the ones who are stuggling I feel your pain but it is worth it in the end. I am kind of a big guy but when I come home from work and my little guy says hi daddy all the troubles we had melt away from my tears of joy.