[paigeturner]

I didn’t have the opportunity to discuss this type of thing with my son’s parents; I wasn’t even given the chance to look at profiles back then (yes, I am disgusted with myself for being such a sheeple, but that’s for another thread.) Anyway, things have changed a lot in 25 years. IMO it would be wrong to not disclose something like this to an expectant mother and yes, perhaps an expectant mother should proactively ask, however, having been there I can tell you that there is a lot on an expectant mothers mind when she is working through the idea of placing a child. I’m with Belle, if I were an expectant mother working on an adoption plan today, or back then with the same opportunities, I would not have matched with someone who planned on breastfeeding my child. It would be a total deal breaker for me – just as it would be to place with someone today who would circumcise my child.

As irrational as it probably is, it isn’t natural (to me) for a woman who hasn’t given birth to breastfeed a child – there’s just an “ick” factor for me. I can see the factoids and flames coming on the history of wet-nurses, the cost savings, the bonding, etc. It just doesn’t matter to me. It would have meant that this particular match wasn’t for me or for my son. It doesn’t mean that another expectant mother won’t be looking for a parent for her child that does plan to breastfeed. Isn’t that what matching is all about – finding the right set of parents for a particular child? It isn’t about telling expectant parents what they want to hear to get them to pick you! It’s about finding a match that works for both sets of parents.