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Originally Posted by belleinblue1978
How could you not discuss that? I wouldn't have matched with someone that wanted to breastfeed. If you want to, fine, but I wouldn't have been comfortable with that for my child. If I found out later that was what the adoptive mother wanted, and it was pre TPR, I don't care if babe was already home, I would have had my child moved.
Not discussing that, in my opion, is tatamount to lying by omission. If you want the truth from an expectant mom she deserves the same from you.
This is the second thing you have mentioned not discussing. You need to think long and hard I think if an open domestic adoption is really for you. You can find expectant moms that have the same desires as you, but you need to talkk about them, you can't sweep things that major under the rug and not expect there to be problems later on.
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I have been told repeatedly not to discuss this or that by people. THAT is why I ask that way. And personally...I don't think I
should have to discuss every single parenting decision we could possibly ever make prior to placement.
*NOT* because I would be trying to lie or misrepresent myself, but because if I am going to be trusted enough to raise someone's child, then I should be
trusted to make the best decisions I can for that child. Your reaction is exactly the reason I was told to very clearly not discuss it. I
personally am not comfortable with that....or I would just go with it and not ask about it here.
I think you really need to back yourself up and apply some positive intent.