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Originally Posted by belleinblue1978
How could you not discuss that? I wouldn't have matched with someone that wanted to breastfeed. If you want to, fine, but I wouldn't have been comfortable with that for my child. If I found out later that was what the adoptive mother wanted, and it was pre TPR, I don't care if babe was already home, I would have had my child moved.
Not discussing that, in my opion, is tatamount to lying by omission. If you want the truth from an expectant mom she deserves the same from you.
This is the second thing you have mentioned not discussing. You need to think long and hard I think if an open domestic adoption is really for you. You can find expectant moms that have the same desires as you, but you need to talkk about them, you can't sweep things that major under the rug and not expect there to be problems later on.
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Wowza, that's a little bit harsh don't yah think with the long and hard insinuations of preparedness or lack there of regarding a domestic adoption? What do we know about this OP to throw that at her when she's obviously looking for feedback in how to approach the subject in the first place.
If breastfeeding an infant is a big enough deal to the emom..then
she too should be asking these quesitons as well and not waiting to pull TPR on her own oversight. If it's a big enough deal for that kind of extreme there should be a balance of responsibilty in being upfront from the getgo. I personally agree that it should be discussed, but by all and not placed on one party alone.
Sounds like this PAP is asking us here for support and guidance to ensure she does in at present herself honestly to an emom. So she's having some kind of inner conflict with it all, she's here asking for guidance regardless.
With recent concersn with formula (relating to health issues and deaths in other countries) I too have been considering methods outside of formula. If it is in our plan I will discuss, but it being a breaker for an emom would throw up a big red flag for me...what else about my parenting and decision making could become an issue for her and how then would it present itself in all of our lives.