Nothing is wrong with you!! You are in mourning and it's OK to be. You loved your little one then and you always will. The loss is great when you lose a loved one. I am so sorry to hear of your loss. 
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3/07 
12/07- FC & Received PA
12/28/07- Entered PGN
1/15/08/ KO of PGN-needs 3 corrections
1/28-2/2/08 visit
1/31/08-Reg CA
2/12/08-obtained number for reg CA 
2/28/08-resubmit to PGN
3/31/08-4/3/08-2nd review?
4/21/08-Out of PGN  God
5/5/08 A-deed signed/BC needs to be reg/w/RENAP (RENAP 4/30/08)
5/16/08-BC completed
5/21/08- ORANGE
5/30/08-DNA sent to US Embassy-waiting for PINK
6/3/08- PINK
6/8/08-Joshua's 1st Birthday 
6/11/08- Embassy apt
6/14/08- HOME FOREVER 
7/25/08-received registered adoption decree in our state
8/14/08- received USA State Birth Certificate
8/25/08- received USA Soicial Security Card
8/25/08 -received letter fr USCIS-up to 120 days to rec the G-884 VISA info
9/15/08-received G-884 Visa packet info from USCIS buffalo-waited three weeks
4/10/09- G-639
10/16/09-rec G-639
http://pap2joshua.blogspot.com/
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